Are Pole Dancers Underdogs?

Bad news, folks: Lietuva, my favorite men’s basketball team, fell to Espana in the semi-finals 91-86. It was close for most of the game, but Spain inched by and now plays for Gold against the U.S..

Must I root for my own country? Pulling for ten NBA ringers just goes against my grain. Be my guest, though, call me whatever you want; but it’s not like I wasn’t rooting for Laura Wilkinson with all my might. I thought she deserved to end her body-pounding career in 10.0 style. When it boils down to it, I’m probably just exercising my need to root for the underdog.

Like all civil-minded creatures, my daddy believed that the underdog deserved full support nine times out of ten. He used to say so with tears in his eyes. In keeping, therefore, with tradition, I have found the perfect underdogs for my rooting purposes, plus I think they’ll be around for a long time. If you’ll please bare with me, whilst I lead you to the same conclusion.

First of all, what makes-up the archetypal underdog? There are so many combinations, but one jumps right out for me: First, the underdog needs to be female; second, it should be raised in a society of male maniacs; third, it ought to hail from one of the misunderstood Middle Eastern countries; fourth, it’s best seen on the World stage in a costume that hampers motion; and lastly, the underdog must proclaim to the World that repression makes it empowered.

Add these up and what do you get, folks? Muslim women from Mid-Eastern countries competing in the Olympics wearing the Hijab, while declaring to the world that this head garb liberates them. All of which brings me to a prime example—Roqaya al-Gassra, world class sprinter from Bahrain.

Now I have to admit, folks, when I saw this poor female line up on that sticky, red-hot Beijing track, smothered from forehead to toe in clothing designed to hide her gender, I was offended. Yes, very much offended. Not by her, mind you, but by those Muslim men who made her wear the garb. ‘Cause let’s face it, folks, they make her cover up so they won’t feel a stirring in their hairy loins. Speaking of which, why is al-Gassra racing between those men? Or are they women? Perhaps someone can fill me in.

Moving on. Roqaya Al-Gassra says her outfit is a “personal choice. Wearing the hijab shows that there are no obstacles,” she explained. “I’ve set my best times wearing the hijab.”

Lest we feel too bad, al-Gassra’s head gear is quite up to date—clingy and stretchable with a sponsor’s trademark(Nike).

Hmmm…..clingy and stretchable? Sounds awfully like a synthetic fabric. And given the 95% humidity of Beijing, wouldn’t that be especially torturous? “For me it’s liberating,” added al-Gassra, whose close-fitting running veils were proudly designed by the women of her village to be aero-dynamic and light weight. Plus they come come in red or white, the Bahraini colors.

Speaking of finish lines, Al-Gassra has been there before. In the Summer Games of 2004, she ran first and fastest of the women from Arab and Muslim countries.

Which now brings me to a Muslim runner who doesn’t choose to wear the hijab—Dana Hussein: Amazingly enough, she gets shot at for her choice and literally has to dodge bullets while training. According to All Things Considered, “May 1, 2008, Hussein is the only Iraqi who trained for the Beijing Olympics inside the war-torn country of no sponsorship. She only had worn out running shoes. “If I leave this sport,” Dana said, “I think life will stop. Life must continue… I love this sport too much.”

Iraqi sprinter Dana Hussein