We’re talking about 100,000 condoms handed out to 10,500 athletes of the Olympic Village, along with leaflets and videos in a variety of languages. By my calculations, that makes 9.532805328053280… condoms apiece, although I don’t advise what that decimal suggests, i.e. halving them.

Since it takes 2 (two) to use one condom, each athlete was able to have SEX 18 times with a remainder of 550 for the more gifted performers.  Was that enough, I wonder?

Lest you think this is a new thing, free condoms have been handed out to Olympic athletes since ’92, Barcelona.

You’ve really got to applaud the Chinese for seizing another manufacturing opportunity, though. True to form, the condoms were made in China by the China Reproductive Health Industry Association.

Moving on.  In keeping with the spirit of free condoms, here’s something I know you’ll enjoy:  The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation has funded  a ‘condom condom’ ringtone designed to introduce the youth of India to the humble condom.  Statistics for HIV in India put the disease at almost 2.5 million, but to speak of AIDS is taboo.  Not surprisingly, the use of any penis covering device is also taboo.

“We’ve made a conscious effort to move the concept of the condom away from negative association, like HIV and sex work,” said Yvonne MacPherson, country director of BBC World Service Trust India.

The ‘condom, condom!’ ringtone which can be downloaded for free features a 55 second, rousing, musical rendition of the word “condom” sung a capella by enthusiastic men in five part harmony.  What are you waiting for, folks?  Get your butts over to condomcondom.org!

And now for something completely different from the online newspaper China Daily:

Mother shocked to find condom in schoolbag

Mount Shasta sunrise sans smoke by Chris Tatro (www.sendoutcards.com/site)

Good morning, one and all, from the slopes of Mt Shasta, your friendly, active, neighborhood volcano in Northern California. It is a sendoutcards kind of day: The atmosphere here is crystalline, with an inspiring AQI (Air Quality Index). Let me just say that this is the sky of which dreams are made.

If you’ll bear with me for a bit more politics, compliments of the People’s Daily Online, I would be most honored. Those Asian types may not know their English, but that doesn’t stop them from turning a phrase, not to mention a victorious moment.

The victorious moment of which I’m speaking happened last night at the Democratic National Convertion, where Barack Obama was hailed by many as one of the greatest orators of our time. Even the critical Pat Buchanan, “right from the beginning”, looked shellshocked. This former presidental candidate called Obama’s acceptance speech the best and most important political convention speech he had ever heard, going back 48 years.

You can decide for yourself, though. For Barack Obama’s speech on video along with the complete text, follow this link to The Huffington Post. You can also get the lowdown on McCain’s VP pick( Sarah Palin).

Who is Sarah Palin, you might ask: She’s “the former point guard and captain of the Wasilla (Alaska) High School Warriors who went on to become Miss Wasilla 1984 before working as a local news sports reporter who then served as city councilwoman and mayor of the town of about 9,000 before being elected governor of her home state just two years ago. Here, a look back at the woman who failed to become Miss Alaska, but could be a heartbeat away from being President of the United States of America. ” For more photos….

Enough of this bold nonsence, folks! Back to my favorite no-nonsence Chinese newspaper. As you can see, I am shouting the finale of today’s blog, ’cause I don’t know how to get rid of this bold type. Here, therefore, in the bold italics of their own words is how the People’s Daily decided to play out the closing ceremony of the 2008 Democratic National Convention:

“On Aug. 28, 1963, U.S. civil right activist Martin Luther King Jr. brought Americans into a dreamland with the resounding “I Have A Dream” speech in Washington D.C. As Dr. King foresaw before he was assassinated in 1968, the country now has accepted a person of color to be the presidential nominee. The son of a Kenyan man and Kansas white woman is fighting for his way.

On his journey to the White House, the Illinois senator kept appealing to Americans, in rural cottages or in urban stadiums. It did not take too much time to convince young people inspired by his underdog stories and upbeat speech.

Now, Obama is supposed to become more fearless since Joe Biden joined his fight for the White House.

There could not be a better time for Republicans to flex their muscles in foreign and national security areas.

Despite a national convention that was filled with calls for party unity, it remains an unfinished mission to Obama to woo those voters who used to support Hillary Rodham Clinton but now are considering helping McCain.

And just what pic was chosen by the People’s Daily to represent Obama in his glory moment? Hmmm…Can those foreigners possibly be insinuating that Barack has two sides of his mouth from which to speak? I don’t think they like him much. But you be the judge.

People's Daily: English version---Obama talking out one side of his mouth

Happy tales,

Laura signing off

p.s. Chris Tatro For President!!! A SendOutCard in every mailbox!

How did the Chinese know these were tourists? (hee hee)

The header for this Chinese ‘beach’ scene is Beautiful Hainan Allures Tourists After Beijing Olympics. Hmmm… ‘allures’. I suppose these butt cheeks are pretty alluring, but they must look massive to the average Chinese.

The People’s Daily Online (August 26th) published five resort pictures all aimed at illustrating the Olympics afterglow, i.e. more revenue from relaxed tourists. Beijing Olympics=Prosperity (Ba Ba Ba)!

Speaking of fateful,

Ba-ack to Denver: So what do you think this Chinese newspaper said about Michelle Obama’s speech on Monday? How she grew up on the South Side of Chicago? How she was the daughter of a blue collar worker with MS? Not hardly, they said her speech was strategically aimed at reconciliation with the Clintons.

Speaking of the former First Lady, I really liked her convention speech. My favorite line was that short direct message to all her die-hard supporters: “I want you to ask yourselves: Were you in this campaign just for me?”

Surely the Chinese were impressed with Hilary’s Harriet Tubman quote, though: “If you hear the dogs…If you see the torches in the woods… If you want a taste of freedom keep going.”

Just kidding, how could they ever make that freedom stuff available to the masses?

Speaking of masses, here’s exactly what the People’s Daily Online is saying about the powerful women players of the Democratic Convention. You might find it surprising that Nancy Pelosi is more newsworthy than most American politicians, all because of her previoius ‘anti-Chinese’ remarks. The Mao-like photograph is straight from the People’s Daily Online.

This Chinese obsession with Madame Speaker hails from March 2008 when Pelosi had the nerve to diss China for its crackdown in Tibet. She was visiting the Dalai Lama at the time, and the combination set off a massive anti-Pelosi bloggin spree in the People’s Daily Online which is still available for your viewing pleasure. I was impressed by the fervor of hatred. Here’s an oppinion that I posted earlier, but I think it deserves another go:

Here’s the thing, folks, not many Americans listen to what Nancy Pelosi says. The fact is, I agree pretty much with this Chinese comment: “I don”t care what Pelosi is up to. Does she exist?”

Moving on. Another aspect of the Democratic National Convention that interested the Chinese was Denver’s pride in winning the bid, along with the massive security efforts involved:

“Hosting the 47th Convention carries a significant meaning to the city, which last hosted the event in 1908, exactly 100 years from now. “It’s the biggest event in the history of the city,” Richard Grant, a Denver city spokesman told the media.

After doubling police forces, Colorado state government still had to seek help from the neighboring state of Wyoming. ”

I think they are trying to say, see, everybody, America is a violent place, too, and has its own share of protestors—-just like China did during the Olympics.

The People’s Daily Online, in fact, made a pretty big deal of the ‘plot’ to “shoot Obama with a rifle from a high vantage point” —that’s what they kept calling it. There were back-to-back stories, Aug 26th and 27th: Wow! White supremacists are just not photgenic, folks! If you want to see three humongous mug shots of the ugliest perpetrators ever, follow this link to the People’s Daily Online.

Which reminds me, exercise your freedom to follow links while you still can, folks. What makes you think it’s gonna last forever?

Happy tales,

Laura signing off

p.s. Chris Tatro for President!

An Obama aide says that Joe Biden’s job will be to explain to the “American people where Obama comes from, and what his vision is for the country,” as well as lay out “the choice in this election.” blah, blah, blah. Everyobdy knows he’s going after McCain.

And just how will he go about this, one wonders? Part of Biden’s appeal is his average Joe-ness. Did you know, for example, that he has commuted to work on Amtrak for years (one way takes 80 minutes), and every Christmas hosts a dinner for the Amtrak crew members? Well it’s true, folks. Follow this link to find out more little known facts about Joe. The poor guy used to stutter in junior high, for god’s sake.

Moving on. During the Olympics, I got in the habit of reading the People’s Daily Online. I love the Chinese slant on our politics! One expert (Lucien W. Pye) says that China sees all “politics as exclusively combative contests involving haggling, maneuvering, bargaining and manipulating”. That sounds like par for any political course, though, doesn’t it?

I’m mostly fascinated by the People’s Daily Online vocabulary choices for American affairs. Oftentimes, a reporter glorifies his own culture and shines more light on competing Chinese nationalisms than he does on the news.

With this in mind, what are the Chinese saying about the new Democratic ticket of Obama and Biden? Too many things to put in a nutshell, folks, but all have to do with Biden’s experience and background. Generally speaking, though, they think it dilutes the reform ticket.

And I quote from the People’s Daily Online: “U.S. Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama’s selection of Senator Joe Biden as his running mate would shore up his inexperience in foreign policy and defense, but synchronously carry risks of undermining his image as an agent of change.”

Time out, folks. I am ashamed to admit that I had to look up the meaning of synchronously. Good word. Now back to the People’s Daily Online:

“However, Obama’s choice also carried some risks. Biden’s experience in foreign policies and national security is a two-blade sword that can invite more doubts on Obama’s capability in the areas.

In addition, coming from a Catholic family with blue-collar roots, he could help Obama win more voters sharing the same background, a weak area for Obama.

His personal compelling story that his ex-wife and baby daughter died in a car accident when he was just sworn to the Senate and spent the following five years to take care of the other two sons alone will also lend a hand to help Obama woo more senior and women voters.”

Oooops. Time out again, folks. Are they saying Biden’s personal tragedy will reel in the feeble-minded who vote with their hearts? Moving on.

“Political analysts said Biden, as a liberal Democrat, was popular and influential among the party fellows, and has also reached many bipartisan deals, leaving him very few political enemies.”

Is this a backhanded slap or what? “Many bipartisan deals…very few political enemies”… I think I smell Chinese sarcasm, but the funniest is yet to come.

“Technically, Biden is capable of campaigning, debating and delivering speech since he has been tested by six successful congressional elections and twice failed presidential primaries.

According to a report by News Week, Biden was known as a person who did not always think before talk and was sometimes obsessed by his own talks, leaving it in doubt whether he can work under Obama’s arms.

His campaign as a Democratic presidential candidate in 1987 had to cease after he was accused of plagiarizing a speech of a British politician. He considered to join the game again four years later, but found himself impossible to collect enough campaign fund.

Growing up in a working-class family, Biden is also expected to help Obama win over more blue-collars in November. However, his age and long-term immersion in the Capitol Hill potentially threat Obama’s motto to bring changes to Washington.

Given to his influence and capabilities, it is questionable whether Biden would concede to Obama and do the ritual job as a vice president. It is foreseeable that the newly-named vice presidential candidate would face questions about his vote for the launching of the Iraq War at the first place that Obama has been always opposed, and his strong criticism on Obama during the Democratic primary earlier this year.”

Basically, the Chinese are saying Biden is a well known, conservative, uppity, old windbag who puts his foot in his mouth and does what the heck he pleases, while bringing in the blue collar, Catholic and sympathy vote. But he’s made so many concessions in the form of bipartisan deals that his own character is in question. Ooops, did I say in question—what’s to question about a politician who steals speeches from the Brits?

You wait a minute, now, you inscrutable foreigners. What about the fact that Joe Biden rides Amtrak to work? When’s the last time Hu Jintao rode the train to a party meeting? I’m not real sure, but I think the Chinese ‘dissed‘ our vice presidential candidate. Can’t blame them, though, they don’t get to diss their own leaders much. OoooooooooooooBurn!!!!!

Happy tales,

Laura signing off with Chris of internet marketing world in the wings and waiting for you clicks.